The OurFamilyWizard website

As much as getting divorced is difficult and stressful for husbands and wives, it is particularly distressing for their children. Because children lack the maturity, wisdom and experience of adults (and being out of the information loop), this limited ability to comprehend their parents' divorce can be both frightening and anxiety provoking to them.

Often times, divorce is accompanied with a wide range of financial requirements—attorney bills, court fees, child support obligations, and court ordered financial obligations. A common requirement when minor children are involved is for the non-custodial parent (or former “bread winner”) to maintain life insurance for the benefit of the custodial parent for a certain period of time.

The enforcement of parenting time varies from state to state.  An easy way to find out more about your state's enforcement policies and procedures in to enter "parenting time enforcement" and your state's name into a search engine, you can usually find some pretty good information on the first page of results.  However, there are some pretty general things that you should probably know.

Conflict between people is a fact of life – and it’s not necessarily a bad thing. In fact, a relationship with frequent conflict may be healthier than one with no observable conflict. Conflicts occur at all levels of interaction – at work, among friends, within families and between relationship partners. When conflict occurs, the relationship may be weakened or strengthened. Thus, conflict is a critical event in the course of a relationship. Conflict can cause resentment, hostility and perhaps the ending of the relationship. If it is handled well, however, conflict can be productive – leading to deeper understanding, mutual respect and closeness. Whether a relationship is healthy or unhealthy depends not so much on the number of conflicts between participants, but on how the conflicts are resolved.

The process of blending family brings confusion and surprises into many moments. The process may also lead to moments of  "blender brain," when it appears there is no solution, no end in sight and nothing you can do to eliminate the obstacles you face.

Over the years there have been endless studies on the effects of divorce on parents and children. Some of the results are controversial. Others seem to be universally accepted as relevant and real. Here are a few of my perceptions from studies on children who experience divorce that I believe all of us, as parents, should take to heart.